ATTENTION, ATTENTION, HAPPINESS

How I complety changed my life and start becoming a happiness seeker?

Hi,

For some of us, the ultimate goal in life is happiness. Also for me, honestly who doesn´t want to be happy and free?

Whether we see fulfillment in our work, contentment in our relationships, passion for our hobbies … we strive to find happiness.

And yet, this search for happiness can be a lifelong search, especially if we look at happiness as something that will come once we achieve certain goals — a nice home, a perfect spouse, the ultimate promotion … and when we get these goals, instead of being happy, we often are looking forward to being happy when we meet our next goals.

Happiness shouldn’t be something that happens to us in the future, maybe someday, if things go well. Happiness should be here and now, who we are now, with the people we’re with now, doing the things we’re doing now. And if we’re not with people who make us happy, and doing things that make us happy … then we should take action to make that happen.

That’s the simple formula for happiness. Take action to do the things that make you happy, with the people who make you happy, and to be happy with the person you are now.

Don’t wait for happiness. Seize it.

We know many things that can help us to be happier. Be it: living in the moment, learning, sex, having fun, meeting friends, traveling. We all have certain things in our heads that help us to be happier. I cultivate it very simply. I have a list on which the following things are written:

Do

  • x

Stop doing

  • y

It's that simple, and every morning I look at this list and try to live the day after.

To be honest, I think the subject of happiness is very broad. All I want in my life is to transform the world into a desirable future. One of the most important building blocks for this is to end human suffering. One way that has helped me is meditation and being alone. I have written about that in my book as well, and really hope to publish it this year. Currently, it feels I need to escape this concept of society again and begin my “hero’s journey. Let me explain.

I love meditation, it’s simple but not easy. Meditation is essentially training our attention so that we can be more aware—not only of our own inner workings but also of what’s happening around us in the here and now. Once we see clearly what’s going on in the moment, we can then choose whether and how to act on what we’re seeing.

Meditation is the act of being alone. The act is entirely different from the activities of isolation. The very nature of the ‘me’, the self, the ego, is to isolate itself, through concentration, through various forms or methods of meditation, and through the daily activities of separation. But to be alone is not a withdrawal from the world. The world of man is gregarious; it is the interrelationship of influence, of opinion, and the weight of tradition. It is the entertainment of thought and the activity of self-absorption. This inevitably leads to loneliness and self-isolating misery.

To be alone is only possible when the mind is outside the influence of society; when inwardly there is freedom from the social disorder. This freedom is a virtue, and virtue is always alone; the morality of a society is the continuance of disorder. Meditation is transcending this disorder and is not the private pleasure of visions and expanding experiences. These experiences are ever isolating.

Love is not separative, and as love cannot be cultivated so aloneness is not a thing of thought. It comes as naturally as the sunrise when there is freedom from the activities of thought.

After all, it is becoming more and more difficult even to be physically alone. Most people don’t want to be alone; they are afraid to be alone; they are occupied, and they want to be occupied, from the moment they wake up until the moment they go to bed, and even then they are haunted by dreams. And those who live alone, in the caves or as the monks in their cells, are never alone, for they live with their images, their thoughts, and the practices which promise them future fulfillment. They are never alone; they are full of knowledge and full of the darkness of the cave or the cell.

One must really be an outsider, not belonging to anything or to anybody. But you cannot fight your way out, for then you still belong to it. The very act of fighting your way out is the action that makes society tick. And so there is neither outside nor inside. As soon as you are aware that you are outside, you are in. So you must die to society so that the new life comes into being without your knowing it. The new is not an experience; to know the new is to be the old. And so walk in solitude, though you live in society.

Are you willing to die to society, so that your new life comes into?

Sincerely,

Malte

PS: Have you ever heard that story a grandfather told his grandson:

“I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is vengeful, fearful, envious, resentful, deceitful. The other wolf is loving, compassionate, generous, truthful, and serene.” The grandson asks which wolf will win the fight.

The grandfather answers,

“The one I feed.”